Saturday, March 15, 2014

Things Flight Attendants won't tell you...

Want to start off on the wrong foot with me?

Put your carry-on in a full overhead bin, leave it sticking out six inches, then take your seat at the window and wait for someone else (me!) to come along and solve the physics problem you just created.

Yes, passengers are incredibly rude...

but stealing a beer, cursing out passengers, and jumping out of a plane is not the way to handle it. You disarm an unruly passenger by introducing yourself, asking his name, and saying something like ‘I’ve been incredibly nice to you for three hours. Why are you treating me like this?’ Generally that gets the other passengers on your side—and sometimes they’ll even applaud.

We don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend
in every city.

Despite popular belief (especially from the 60s and 70s) we don't have a 'trick' in every layover city. Most Flight attendants these days are married, have families, and have settled down. Flight schedules are too hectic to have extra fun sometimes....and our median age these days is 44.

An all-too-common scenario?

I hand you a cup of coffee and say, ‘Cream and sugar?’ You say, ‘What?’ I say, ‘Cream and sugar?’ You say, ‘What?’ Come on, people. What do you think we’re going to ask after we’ve handed you coffee? Your favorite color?

If you’re traveling with a small child and you keep hearing bells, bells, and more bells,

please look to see if it’s your child playing with the flight attendant call bell. If the crew is lucky, depending on the aircraft type, they can disable the seats call bell!

The lavatory door is not rocket science.

To some, it might be though. To open the Lavatory door, you open it like you would a normal door, by turning the knob! Some doors you simply just push.


If you have a baby, bring diapers.

If you’re diabetic, bring syringes. If you have high blood pressure, don’t forget your medication. That way, I’m not trying to make a diaper out of a sanitary pad and a pillowcase or asking over the intercom if someone has a spare inhaler.

Just in case you hadn’t noticed, there are other people on the airplane besides you.

So don’t clip your toenails, snore with wild abandon, or do any type of personal business under a blanket!

If you’re traveling overseas, do yourself a favor and bring a pen.

You would not believe how many people travel without one, and you need one to fill out the immigration forms. I carry some, but I can’t carry 200.


Passengers are always coming up to me and tattling on each other.

‘Can you tell him to put his seat up?’ ‘She won’t share the armrest.’ What am I, a preschool teacher?

I hate working flights to destinations like Vail and West Palm Beach.

The passengers all think they’re in first class even if they’re not. They don’t do what we ask. There isn't enough room for those sitting in First Class to hang all the coats. And the overhead bins are full of their mink coats.

Do you really have to go to the bathroom right now, while we’re wrestling a 250-pound food cart down the aisle?

You can’t wait 90 seconds for us to pass?

Is it that difficult to say hello and goodbye?

We say it 300 times on every flight, and only about 40 people respond. 

Do not poke or grab me

I mean it. No one likes to be poked, but it’s even worse on the plane because you’re sitting down and we’re not, so it’s usually in a very personal area. You would never grab a waitress if you wanted ketchup or a fork, would you?

We’re not being lazy.

Our rules really say we aren’t allowed to lift your luggage into the overhead bin for you, though we can “assist.”

I don’t care if you want to be in the mile-high club, keep your clothes on.

Who decided the mile-high club was something that everyone wants to do anyway? It’s cramped and dirty in those bathrooms. Besides, that's not water on the floor!

If you hear us paging for a doctor

or see us running around with oxygen, defibrillators and first aid kits, that’s not the right time to ask for a blanket or a Diet Coke.


The only place you are allowed to pee

on the airplane is in the lavatory. Period.

Don’t ask us if it’s okay to use the lavatories on the ground.

The answer is always yes (unless we're taxiing to/from the gate). Do you think what goes into the toilet just dumps out onto the tarmac?

You really expect me to take your soggy Kleenex?

Or your kid’s fully loaded diaper? I’ll be right back with gloves. Often times passengers will hand the flight attendants their tissues after blowing their brains out, then expect us to continue serving others. If you don't want your Kleenex, why do you think we do if we don't have a trash bag for you to dispose it into?


Sure, I don’t mind waiting while you scour the seatback pocket

and the floor for candy wrappers and other garbage, then place them in my bag one by one. I only have 150 other passengers to serve.


I’m sorry it’s taking forever to get you a wheelchair,

but that’s one thing you can’t blame the airline for. The wheelchair service is subcontracted to the cities we fly into, and it’s obviously not a top priority for many of them.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Helpful websites for Airline Crew

Here is a small list of helpful websites I thought would be nice to pass along to airline crew members. I saw these on another site (Flight Attendant Source) and thought it would be good to include in my small blog.

Transportation Security Administration (TSA)
TSA has established guiding principles to maintain the security of the traveling public and continuously set the standard for excellence in transportation security. Any inquiries about the policies and procedures of the TSA can be found by searching there website or contacting their staff during business hours. Visit Site

Federal Aviation Administration (FAA)
The FAA provides air traffic services for the world’s largest and busiest airspace. Tens of thousands of aircraft are guided safely and expeditiously every day through America’s National Airspace System to their destinations. For a value of aviation news and information you can browse their website. Visit Site

Known Crewmember (KCM)
This is a TSA approved security program in which authorized crew members are trusted to forgo security line.  Use this link to check if a specific airport has a Known Crewmember line. Visit Site

Global Entry
This is especially beneficial for International Flight Attendants. Global Entry is a U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) program that allows expedited clearance for pre-approved, low-risk travelers upon arrival in the United States. Visit Site

The Association of Flight Attendants (AFA-CWA)
The world’s largest labor union.  AFA represents nearly 60,000 flight attendants at 19 airlines, serving as a voice for flight attendants at their workplace. the goal of flight attendants who become part of AFA-CWA is to negotiate better pay, benefits, working conditions and work rules at their airline, and to improve their safety on the job. Visit Site

Association of Professional Flight Attendants (APFA)
The Association of Professional Flight Attendants is the official bargaining representative for all of the US-base flight attendants at American Airlines. APFA is also the largest independent Flight Attendant Union in the nation, representing ONLY American Airlines Flight Attendants. All APFA Representatives are also AA Flight Attendants. Visit Site

Turbulence Forecast
Turbulence Forecast is a tool that can be used to give an estimate on how turbulent your flight might Visit Site

Airline Ambassadors International (AAI)
Airline Ambassadors International (AAI) helps orphans and vulnerable children worldwide by leveraging connections with the airline industry towards humanitarian service. We are the only charity of the overall airline industry.

Their volunteers escort children for life changing medical care, hand deliver humanitarian aid to children in orphanages, clinics and remote communities and advocate and educate and advocate on child protection and human trafficking awareness. Visit Site

United Nations Childrens Fund (UNICEF)
Change for Good is an innovative partnership between UNICEF and the international airline industry. Established in 1987, it is one of UNICEF's best-known and longest-running partnerships. Currently eleven international airlines support the Change for Good program. Thanks to the generous support of customers and participating airlines, the global Change for Good program has generated more than $120 million that UNICEF has used to provide a healthier, happier future for millions of children. Visit Site

Flight Aware
Founded in 2005, FlightAware was the first company to offer free flight tracking services for both private and commercial air traffic and quickly rose to become the most popular flight tracking service.
FlightAware currently provides private aviation flight tracking in over 45 countries across North America, Europe, and Oceania, as well as global solutions for aircraft with datalink (satellite/VHF) via every major provider, including ARINC, Garmin, Honeywell GDC, Satcom Direct, SITA, and UVdatalink. FlightAware also continues to lead the industry in free, worldwide airline flight tracking and airport status for air travelers.

FlightAware's seamless integration of over 50 real-time, worldwide data sources combined with FlightAware's powerful, intuitive, responsive, and reliable web-based interface yield the most capable and useful flight tracking application and service. Visit Site